A Birthday Plan
by cordelia3
Summary: Snape and Sinistra argue over how to make Camille's (drama-princess) birthday special, and find a little something special between themselves. S/S. Shades of Jane Austen, Richard III...


A/N: Happy nineteenth birthday, Camille! This story is a little something to let you know how much I (and the characters!) appreciate your stories. Keep writing and dreaming- you're an incredibly special person.  
  
And, oh yes, I don't own any bit of the Harry Potter universe. It all belongs to JKR, as I'm sure you all know.  
  
********  
  
"You want to do what, Auriga?"  
  
"Sev, it's not that big a deal-"  
  
"Yes it is! It's huge! You'd think you were a Gryffinor, with all the rule-breaking you're proposing. And don't call me Sev."  
  
I sighed and pushed my glasses up the bridge of my nose in the manner that I knew would infuriate him the most. "Really, Severino, you're acting almost. Hufflepuffish. Whatever happened to that sly Slytherin bravery that you're always bragging about?"  
  
His eyes grew extraordinarily wide at the use of Severino, but apparently decided to let this gaffe pass for the time being, as the next words out of his mouth were, "Brave, yes. Stupid, no." His mouth started to twitch in a worrisome manner, and I am certain that I would have been treated to a rousing rendition of his patented TwitchShudderSneer if Albus hadn't made a very timely entry into the staff room.  
  
"Albus! Just the man I wanted to see!" Severus and I chorused together, then glared at one another. This entire display seemed to amuse Albus a great deal, but then he always seems to have a smile playing on his face whenever Severus and I are in a room together. I've never seen what's so amusing.  
  
Albus looked back and forth between us, a twinkle in his eye- I ask you, does that man have nothing better to do with his eyes than twinkle all the time? But I digress.  
  
"What seems to be the trouble, Auriga?"  
  
I opened my mouth to speak, but before I could get a word out, Severus cut in, saying "You won't believe it, Albus. She has come up with the most cockamamie plan that these walls have heard since. since. since we had the unfortunate luck to count a certain Professor Lockhart among our colleagues!" He looked marginally triumphant at this proclamation.  
  
"Never mind him, Albus," I put in hastily, throwing Severus a look, but all the while wishing that I could throw something a little more substantial at him. "You wouldn't know that this is out brave spy and former Death Eater from the way he's talking. The plan is absolutely zero risk, zero liability, almost zero time. It hardly even warrants the title of plan, come to think of it."  
  
Albus looked at the two of us and nodded slowly, his eyebrows raised. "I. see. At least, I think I see. No, to be absolutely honest, I don't understand a word that either of you has said. So sorry to trouble you, but I would be much obliged if you could- er- start form the very beginning. A very good place to start, I've heard."  
  
"Right. Sorry about that." I apologized, blushing profusely. I'm normally a reasonably eloquent person- why is it that I start to sound like a blithering idiot whenever a certain potions-master is in the vicinity? Ah, well, I may occasionally sound like a moron, but at least I don't dwell in a dungeon.  
  
"You see, Albus, I've come up with a little. idea. I'm sure you remember Camille?"  
  
The headmaster's face broke into a broad smile. "Why of course! Charming young lady. Works magic with words. Tried to owl her about coming to Hogwarts, but getting owls to her was harder than getting them to Harry."  
  
"Really?" I found myself asking, intrigued. "Her name was down for Hogwarts?"  
  
"Yes. Quite a loss that she was never able to attend, really. But I've heard that she's enjoying Muggle school. University, I think they call it?"  
  
"Yes, I believe so. But I suppose it's a good thing that she didn't come here after all, considering the excitement she causes among the staff with her stories." I said this before I realized that quite a few of (okay, maybe most of) her stories feature Severus and me. "And the students, of course! The students just love her stories!" I added quickly, back- pedalling frantically. "But that's not the point, really. I mean, it sort of is, but not entirely." I trailed off at the sight of Severus' lip twitching frantically, just waiting to interject as soon as became totally incoherent once more. My stars, you could supply all of London with electricity from that twitching if you could harness it the way that Muggles do with water.  
  
"You see, Albus," I continued, freshly determined, "Camille's birthday is coming up, and the poor girl is in the middle of exams. Horrid group finals, too." He clucked sympathetically. "I thought that perhaps I could, er-"  
  
"Go into the Muggle world, wearing no disguise, compromising all security and wrecking all sorts of spies' covers, all in the name of wishing this Muggle a happy birthday?" Severus apparently couldn't take the pressure any longer, as he all but erupted. His left eye had joined his lip in a sort of bizarre twitching symphony. Then, he suddenly stopped; just froze, really. I was a little concerned (just as a colleague, you understand) and was about to ask if he was all right, when he whispered something.  
  
"Sorry, Severus, didn't catch that," Albus said cheerfully. "What did you say just now?"  
  
"Camille." Severus' voice was now a low growl. "You want to take all these risks to wish Camille a happy birthday."  
  
Annoyed, I began, "How many times do I have to tell you, they're not risks- " but he but me off, furious.  
  
"Oh, yes, happy happy birthday Camille! Author of the illustrious Family Matters! The story where I have to pretend to be married to you, be a father to Potter, and- and- wear a Speedo!" His face went redder and redder throughout this speech.  
  
I couldn't help but snort, but Albus was admirably calm. "Yes, that Family Matters, Severus," he said matter-of-factly, taking a bite of the sugared doughnut he had magicked up. "I'm not acquainted with any others, though they probably exist somewhere in the Muggle world."  
  
I couldn't believe my luck. I was expecting to have to work a great deal harder to convince Albus of the merits of my plan, but here he was, practically signing the papers already. I mean, he thinks highly of Camille, obviously sees that Severus is, well, Severus. how could he not approve the plan?  
  
"Well, I'd say that this is a capital plan-" he began. Yes, yes, yes! I thought to myself. Take that, Professor I live in a Dungeon and am a huge Pessimist Snape! I mentally stuck my tongue out at him. "Normally."  
  
Wait a minute, what was that?  
  
"However, under the circumstances of the current world situation, I'm a little wary of you venturing out into the Muggle world, freely admitting who you are. We've been having some problems contacting some of our agents, and the whole world stage seems to be a bit precarious right now."  
  
"But Albus, surely-" I began, but he held up a hand.  
  
"However. in light of the fact of who this is, I am willing to make an exception."  
  
"Albus!" I could have hugged him, but, obviously, didn't.  
  
He smiled, and that ever-present twinkle was in full force. "I think that it's important to let Camille know that her gift is appreciated."  
  
"Albus, that's very kind-hearted of you, but don't you think it's a bit foolish? I mean, for Auriga to simply walk up to this girl and introduce herself, in full view of crowds of Muggles?" Severus, of course, couldn't go down without a fight, but I could tell his heart wasn't in it; there wasn't even the slightest hint of a twitch.  
  
"You're absolutely right, Severus." Albus turned to me. "I will have to ask you not to approach her or speak with her. That would be tempting fate a bit too much."  
  
I wanted to argue the point, but decided that if I put too much on the line, I might lose it all. Therefore, I agreed, Albus twinkled a little more, then left soon after, with Severus following in his wake. As I watched the two of them head down the hall, Albus to his office and Severus to the dungeon, I could tell that Severus had a plan up his sleeves by the way that he was striding, making his cloaks billow over-much. The last thing I needed at that moment was a Severus Snape plan to interfere with my own.  
  
********  
  
As I was heading back to the Astronomy tower after dinner, Severus intercepted me coming out of the Great Hall. "Auriga," he stated, jerking his head irritably. "I would be much obliged if you would accompany me to the dungeons briefly. I assure you, it won't take up much of your precious time." With that, he turned and strode in the direction of the dungeons, fully expecting me to simply follow him after that less than cordial invitation. My indignation rising within me, I was planning to simply ignore him, but my curiosity proved, alas, too strong. I followed him to the dungeons.  
  
Instead of heading for the classroom, as I expected, he turned towards his chambers. I hesitated, feeling rather uncomfortable, until Severus turned towards me and said with, of course, a sneer, "I see you've been reading too much Muggle fiction, Auriga. Don't worry, I don't have the slightest intention of accosting you." At this, I gave him a condescending sneer of my own, and swept into his room.  
  
"Sit down," he said, waving his hand vaguely in the direction of some chairs. "Just a moment." He disappeared into another room in his quarters, leaving me standing in the middle of the room, my arms crossed and a quizzical look on my face to hide my discomfort.  
  
After an inordinately long time, he returned, carrying a bundle of. clothes? Fabric? He sat down on a chair, and motioned for me to sit opposite. After I gingerly took a seat, he started to speak.  
  
"I realized that I may have been slightly- hasty- in my condemnation of Camille," he began, causing me to nearly fall out of my chair. "I was re- reading some of her stories, and I visited her, er, I can't remember what they're called. Something ridiculous. Blob? Bog? Anyway, I discovered that she, too, has an interest in Will, so I've concluded that the girl can't be totally, irredeemably evil."  
  
Will? I nodded, glad that Severus had changed his opinion of Camille to abruptly, but Will? Then my eyes landed on his copy of "The Complete Works of William Shakespeare". Will! "Right you are! Despite any, er, evidence to the contrary that you may have found, Camille is certainly not irrevocably evil in the manner of. oh, say Richard III."  
  
This was obviously the wrong thing to have said, as Severus launched into a thesis-length argument as to why Richard III was really innocent of all the crimes attributed to him, why Shakespeare had been forced to paint him as a villain, etc, etc. I drifted in and out of consciousness, but fully awoke as Severus was saying indignantly, "At least Will didn't make Richard wear a Speedo!"  
  
I decided that this was high time for me to leave. "Well, Severus," I said, standing up, "it has been a great pleasure discussing this matter with you. I'm also very happy that you've reconsidered your opinion of Camille. So, do I have your blessing to go and see her tomorrow?"  
  
He stood as well. "Do you need my blessing?"  
  
"No. but I should like to have it all the same."  
  
It was dark, but I could have sworn I saw a small smile playing around his mouth as he said, "Well, then, go to it, Auriga." It must have been my imagination.  
  
I was at the door leading out of the dungeon when I heard quick footsteps behind me. I turned around, and there was Severus striding towards me, waving something in his hand. "This is why I called you down. To give you this." He arrived where I was, panting slightly, then handed me that mysterious piece of material. Unfurling it, I realized that it was a Slytherin scarf. "Auriga, do you think. perhaps. you could. wear this tomorrow? Just as a sign of Hogwarts solidarity, you understand," he added hastily.  
  
"Of course." I said, wishing I knew his heart and what he was up to.  
  
I turned to leave when he said, "And Auriga?"  
  
"Yes?" I said, waiting for a snarky comment.  
  
"Do take care of yourself tomorrow."  
  
Flabbergasted, I stuttered, "Err. I. I. I will."  
  
To add to the surrealism of the moment, Severus stuck his hand out towards me. Not knowing what else to do, I grasped it uncertainly. His large hand enveloped my small one, as usually happens to me during handshakes, but his hand was surprisingly warm and dry. If I expected a cold, fishy handshake from anyone, it would have been from Severus Snape. His fingertips grazed the heel of my hand and he grasped my hand for just a moment longer than is customary before dropping it.  
  
His eyes didn't seem to want to meet mine, but then, I wasn't particularly inclined to meet his. This awkward moment extended until Severus coughed, then said brusquely, "Don't be surprised if she doesn't recognize you. Muggles are notorious for being oblivious to the world around them. All this trouble, and she probably won't even notice you."  
  
Ah, the return of the Severus I know and hate. "I have confidence that she will, Sev. She's not your average Muggle."  
  
"Don't call me Sev."  
  
"Good night, Sev." I called teasingly down the corridor as I made my way upstairs. "And she will recognize me," I added under my breath. "I know Camille." 


End file.
